I tell you Lady Tempest —

And I tell you Mr. Latitat in shall not be. — I'll have no Society of Antiquaries meet here: None but the honourable Members of the Coterie shall assemble here — you shall know.

Suspend your rage, Lady Tempest, and let me open my brief — have you not this day, moved by the instigation of the Devil, and not having the fear of God before your eyes, wilfully and wittingly, and maliciously driven all my friends out of my house. Was it done like a Woman of Quality?

It was done like a Woman of Spirit: A character, it shall ever be my task to maintain.

But upon my soul Madam I have one more consideration which should especially move you to bridle your passion: for it spoils your face. When you knocked down Lord Rust with the Bust of Marcus Aurelius, you looked the very picture of the Alecto last taken out of the Herculaneum.

Mr. Latitat I wont be abused — Did I for this condescend to forget my quality and marry[Page 84] such a Tautology of Nothing — I will not be abused.

Pray Madam what has enraged you? May I have the honour of knowing.

Mr. Distort shall be our Referee.

That is, if I please Sir.

Pray my Lady let me state the case, and you may afterwards make a reply — you must know Sir. —

Yes, Sir, you must know, this morning, Mr. Latitat had invited all his antiquated friends Lord Rust, Horatio Trefoil, Col. Tragedus, Professor Vase and Countefeit the Jew to sit upon a brass half-penny, which being a little worn, they have agreed, Nem. Con. to be an Otho.

And it is further necessary to be known, that, while we were all warm in debate upon the premises, my Lady made a forcible entry into the parlour, and seizing an antique Bust of Marcus Aurelius, of malice propense, and afore thought,[Page 86] did with three blows of the said Bust, knock down Anthony Viscount Rust, and —

And drove them all out of the house.

And furthermore —

Silence Mr. Latitat, I insist on the priviledge of an English Wife.

And moreover —

Nay Councellor, as I am your Referee, I command[Page 87] silence: Pray what do you lay your damages at?

My Lady has in her cabinet a Jupiter Tonans, which in spite of all my endeavours to open her eyes, she persists in calling an Indian Pagod, and upon condition of my receiving that, I drop the prosecution.

'Tis a trifle Madam let him have it, it may turn to account.

A very toy: He shall have it instantly on condition I have the use of my tongue.