Satire on the Heads of Houses; or, Never a Barrel the Better Herring

1 O Cambridge, attend
2 To the satire I've penned
3 On the heads of thy Houses,
4 Thou seat of the Muses!
5 Know the Master of Jesus
6 Does hugely displease us;
7 The Master of Maudlin
8 In the same dirt is dawdling;
9 The Master of Sidney
10 Is of the same kidney;
11 The Master of Trinity
12 To him bears affinity;
13 As the Master of Keys
14 Is as like as two peas,
15 So the Master of Queen's
16 Is as like as two beans;
17 The Master of King's
18 Copies them in all things;
19 The Master of Catherine
20 Takes them all for his pattern;
21 The Master of Clare
22 Hits them all to a hair;
23 The Master of Christ
24 By the rest is enticed;
25 But the Master of Emmanuel
26 Follows them like a spaniel;
27 The Master of Benet
28 Is of the like tenet;
29 The Master of Pembroke
30 Has from them his system took;
31 The Master of Peter's
32 Has all the same features;
33 The Master of St John's
34 Like the rest of the dons.
35 P.S. As to Trinity Hall
36 We say nothing at all.

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About this text

Title (in Source Edition): Satire on the Heads of Houses; or, Never a Barrel the Better Herring
Author: Thomas Gray
Themes: humour
Genres: satire

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Source edition

Gray, Thomas, 1716-1771. Thomas Gray: English poems. Web. Oxford: Thomas Gray Archive, 2002. http://www.thomasgray.org/texts/poems.shtml

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