BLUNDRELLA: OR, THE IMPERTINENT.
1 THE Tea was drank and ta'en away,
2 No Soul had any thing to say;
3 The Weather, and the usual din
4 A fresh were going to begin;
5 Fashion and Scandal, drain'd before,
6 On Carpet had been brought once more,
7 But for Blundrella, common Pest,
8 Of the Polite, the standing Jest.
9 BLUNDRELLA Idol of the Vain,
10 And first in the Loquacious Train;
11 In all things ignorant and weak,
12 Yet on all Subjects would she speak;
13 And of her own Perfections vaunted,
14 Still daunting all, herself undaunted;[Page 4]
15 Of a most contradicting Spirit,
16 And envious of another's Merit.
17 This Creature thus, with saucy Air,
18 Addrest Belinda, blooming Fair.
19 MADAM! I'm told you sing; I long
20 To have the honour of a Song:
21 Much better bred than to refuse,
22 Belinda pleads the old Excuse;
23 She's caught a Cold, and feigns a Cough,
24 But that, alas! won't bring her off;
25 Blundrella urges her Request,
26 Now seconded by all the rest.
27 AT length, unwilling to appear
28 Affected, peevish, or severe,
29 The lovely Virgin tun'd her Voice,
30 More out of Complaisance than Choice:
31 While all were with her Musick pleas'd,
32 But she who had the Charmer teaz'd;
33 Who, rude, unmanner'd, and abrupt!
34 Did thus Belinda interrupt:
35 MADAM, (said the affected Thing)
36 Did you ne'er hear Squallinda sing?
37 I've heard her sing that very Song,
38 Would charm the whole Seraphic Throng;
39 Of all the Singers her for me,
40 She sings so sweet, so clear, so free!
41 But, Madam! can't you sing another?
42 That Song, I hope, has got a Brother:[Page 5]
43 Let us have that which the Fustina
44 Sings when she hangs on Senisino;
45 Its Name I have forgot, no matter,
46 'Tis that which makes the Boxes clatter:
47 Or, Madam! but I beg your Pardon,
48 There is a Song, that in the Garden
49 Cuzzoni sings unto her Son;
50 That, or another, 'tis all one.
51 BELINDA blush'd with Shame and Rage;
52 But yet, unwilling to engage
53 So bold a Foe in such a Fray,
54 She let the Creature have her Way:
55 And, tho' at sight she sung her Part,
56 And was a Mistress in the Art,
57 Pleaded her want of Voice and Skill;
58 Which made Blundrella prouder still.
59 Who grew insufferably vain,
60 And alter'd both her Voice and Strain.
61 SHE talk'd of Singers and Composers,
62 Of their Admirers and Opposers,
63 Of the Cuzzoni and Faustini,
64 Of Handel and of Bononcini;
65 One was to rough, t'other to smooth,
66 Artillo only hit her Tooth;
67 And Tamo Tanto was a Song
68 Would give her Pleasure all day long.
69 FULL loftily she gave her Vote,
70 This had no Voice, and that no Throat;[Page 6]
71 That Heideigger had receiv'd a Letter,
72 And we should shortly have a better;
73 A Messenger was sent to Dover
74 To wait the Lady's coming over,
75 Who should no sooner hither come,
76 But she would strike all others dumb.
77 SHE likewise grew exceeding witty
78 Upon the Consorts in the City;
79 'Tis true, she lik'd the Castle best,
80 But yet she made 'em both a Jest:
81 Nor did she much admire the Crown,
82 But as 'twas t'other End o' the Town.
83 SHE next of Masters 'gan to preach;
84 The English were not fit to teach,
85 Italians were the only Men,
86 And ev'n of those not one in ten;
87 For she had heard a Lady say,
88 Scarce two in Town could sing or play.
89 WHAT with Composers, Players, Singers,
90 Performance, Gusto, Voices, Fingers,
91 She ran herself quite out of breath,
92 And talk'd the Company to Death.
93 WHEN haply, with engaging Air,
94 Eugenio, darling of the Fair,
95 Who touches charmingly the Flute,
96 Enter'd, and struck Blundrella mute;[Page 7]
97 And kept her Clack-eternal under
98 For near a Minute, There's a wonder!
99 EUGENIO must expect his Share;
100 For scarce he had assum'd a Chair,
101 But she, impatient, Silence broke,
102 And thus th' Eternal Teazer spoke.
103 NOW for a Tune, my pretty Man!
104 Nay, you shall play, say what you can:
105 Ladies! he's the delightful'st Creature
106 You ever knew, — no Soul play sweeter:
107 Nay, prithee now don't make a Rout,
108 Here 'tis Egad, come — pull it out.
109 WHAT mortal Man could stand the Tryal!
110 He must consent, there's no denial,
111 So, for meer quiet Sake, he plays,
112 While she e'en stifles him with Praise,
113 And worries the poor Man to death,
114 Nor suffers him to take his breath;
115 But calls for Tune on Tune so fast,
116 Eugenio is quite tir'd at last,
117 And begs a Truce upon Parole,
118 He'll play anon with all his soul.
119 NOW you must know Belinda's Charms
120 Had giv'n his Heart no small Alarms;
121 He was her Servant most avow'd
122 And happiest of the sighing Crowd.
123 Sophronia, being her near Relation,
124 Haply laid hold on this Cessation;[Page 8]
125 And, to Eugenio drawing near,
126 She whisper'd softly in his Ear,
127 Told him Blundrella's vile Assurance,
128 And sweet Belinda's mild Endurance.
129 EUGENIO instantly was fir'd,
130 Rage and Revenge his Mind inspir'd:
131 He re-assum'd his Speech and Flute,
132 And thus Blundrella did salute;
133 Madam, (said he) before I go,
134 Your dear Commands I'd gladly know.
135 BLUNDRELLA rear'd her Crest aloft,
136 And begg'd him to play something soft:
137 What think you, Madam, of AL OMBRA?
138 That's poor dull Stuff, do ye like SGOMBRA?
139 Si Caro, if you please, said she:
140 He play'd the Tune of Children three.
141 She was in Raptures, and intreated
142 The self same Tune might be repeated.
143 HE chang'd his Airs, and, to her Shame,
144 She took ten others for the same.
145 In short, Eugenio play'd her off,
146 And made her all the Circle's Scoff:
147 While, stupid she! ascrib'd to Wit and Sense
148 The Laughter rais'd by her Impertinence.