Retaliation Thomas Paine Alexander Huber Editor Bodleian Libraries, University of Oxford
Broad Street Oxford OX1 3BG UK
Eighteenth-Century Poetry Archive
Taylor Institution Library St Giles' Oxford OX1 3NA UK info@eighteenthcenturypoetry.org https://www.eighteenthcenturypoetry.org/
Oxford This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. Cleary, Scott M., ed. Claeys, Gregory, gen. ed. Thomas Paine Collected Writings. Vol. II. Part 2: Poetry. Princeton Princeton UP 2026 pp. []-[]. 5 Volumes.

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Retaliation

Soon after the arrival of Thomas Paine , in the United States , who had been invited by Thomas Jefferson to take passage hither from France in a public vessel , this toast was drank by some federalists at Washington , as a sarcasm on both Jefferson and Paine : — “ May none know pleasure that loves Paine . ” Upon hearing of the circumstance , Mr. Paine jocosely wrote the following lines : —

I send you , sir , a tale about some fed’s Who , in their wisdom , went to loggerheads . The case was this : they felt so flat and sunk , They took a glass together , and got drunk . Such things , you know , are neither new nor rare , For some will hang themselves when in despair . It was the natal day of Washington ; And , this they thought a famous day for fun ; For , with the laughing world , it is agreed , The better day the better deed . They toped away , and , as the glass went round , They grew in point of wisdom more profound ; For at the bottom of the bottle lies That kind of sense they overlook when wise . Come ! here’s a toast , ( cried one , with roar immense ) : “ May none know pleasure that loves Common Sense . ” Bravo ! cried some ; no , no , some others cried ; But left it to the waiter to decide . I think , said he , the toast would be more plain , To leave out common sense , and put in Paine . On this a loud debate arose among This jobbing , sunken , drunken throng . Some said , that Common Sense was all a curse , That making people wiser , made them worse ; It taught them to be careful of their purse , And not be led about like babes at nurse ; Nor yet believe in stories upon trust , Which all mankind , to be well governed , must ; And that the toast was better at first , And he that didn’t think so , might be curst . So , on they went , till such a fray arose , As all that know what fed’s are , must suppose .