Retaliation

I send you, sir, a tale about some fed’s
Who, in their wisdom, went to loggerheads.
The case was this: they felt so flat and sunk,
They took a glass together, and got drunk.
Such things, you know, are neither new nor rare,
For some will hang themselves when in despair.
It was the natal day of Washington;
And, this they thought a famous day for fun;
For, with the laughing world, it is agreed,
The better day the better deed.
They toped away, and, as the glass went round,
They grew in point of wisdom more profound;
For at the bottom of the bottle lies
That kind of sense they overlook when wise.
Come! here’s a toast, (cried one, with roar immense):
“May none know pleasure that loves Common Sense.”
Bravo! cried some; no, no, some others cried;
But left it to the waiter to decide.
I think, said he, the toast would be more plain,
To leave out common sense, and put in Paine.
On this a loud debate arose among
This jobbing, sunken, drunken throng.
Some said, that Common Sense was all a curse,
That making people wiser, made them worse;
It taught them to be careful of their purse,
And not be led about like babes at nurse;
Nor yet believe in stories upon trust,
Which all mankind, to be well governed, must;
And that the toast was better at first,
And he that didn’t think so, might be curst.
So, on they went, till such a fray arose,
As all that know what fed’s are, must suppose.