A Grubstreet ELEGY On the supposed Death of PATRIGE THE Almanack-Maker . Anno. 1708. WELL , 'tis as Bickerstaff has guest , Tho' we all took it for a Jest : Patrige is Dead , nay more , he dy'd E'er he could prove the good Squire ly'd . Strange , and Astrologer should Die , Without one Wonder in the Sky ; Not one of all his Crony Stars , To pay their Duty at his Hearse ! No Meteor , no Eclipse appear'd ! No Comet with a Flaming Beard ! The Sun has rose , and gone to Bed , Just as if Patrige were not Dead ; Nor hid himself behind the Moon , To make a dreadful Night at Noon : He at fit Periods walks through Aries , Howe'er our Earthly Motion varies , And 'twice a Year he'll cut th' Æquator , As if there had been no such Matter . SOME Wits have wondred what Analogy There is 'twixt Patrige was a Cobler . Cobling and Astrology ; How Patrige made his Opticks rise , From a Shoe Sole to reach the Skies ; A List the Coblers Temples ties , To keep the Hair out of their Eyes ; From whence 'tis plain the Diadem That Princes wear derives from them ; And therefore Crowns are now-a-days Adorn'd with Golden Stars and Rays , which plainly shews the near Alliance 'Twixt Cobling and the Planet Science . BESIDES , that slow-pac'd Sign Bo-otes As 'tis miscall'd , we know not who 'tis ; But Patrige ended all Disputes , He knew his Trade , and call'd it See his Almanack . Boots . THE Horned Moon which heretofore Upon their Shoes the Romans wore , Whose Wideness kept their Toes from Corns , And whence we claim our shoeing horns , Shews how the Art of Cobling bears A near Resemblance to the Spheres . A Scrap of Parchment hung by Geometry , A great Refinement in Barometry , Can like the Stars foretel the Weather ; And what is Parchment else but Leather ? Which an Astrologer might use , Either for Almanacks or Shoes . THUS Patrige , by his Wit and Parts , At once did Practice both these Arts : And as the Boding Owl , or rather The Bat , because her Wings are Leather , Steals from her Private Cell by Night , And flies about the Candle-Light ; So Learned Patrige could as well Creep in the Dark from Leathern Cell , And in his Fancy fly as far , To peep upon a twinkling Star . BESIDES , he could confound the Spheres , And set the Planets by the Ears : To shew his Skill , he Mars would join To Venus in Aspect Mali'n , Then call in Mercury for Aid , And Cure the Wounds that Venus made . GREAT Scholars have in Lucian Read , When Philip King of Greece was Dead , His Soul and Spirit did divide , And each Part took a diff'rent Side ; One rose a Star , the other fell Beneath , and mended Shoes in Hell . THUS Patrige still shines in each Art , The Cobling and Star-gazing Part , And is Install'd as good a Star , As any of the Cæsars are . TRIUMPHANT Star ! Some Pity show On Coblers Militant below , Whom Roguish Boys in Stormy Nights Torment , by pissing out their Lights ; Or thro' a Chink convey their Smoke , Inclos'd Artificers to Choke . THOU , high-exalted in thy Sphere , May'st follow still thy Calling there . To thee the Bull will lend his Hide , By Phoebus newly Tann'd and Dry'd . For thee they Argo's Hulk will Tax , And scrape her Pitchy Sides for Wax . Then Ariadne kindly Lends Her Braided Hair to make thee Ends ; The Point of Sagittarius Dart , Turns to an Awl by Heav'nly Art ; And Vulcan wheedled by his Wife , Will Forge for thee a Paring-Knife , For want of Room by Virgo's Side , She'll strain a Point , and sit Tibi brachia contrahet Ingens Scorpius , &c. astride , To take thee kindly in between , And then the Signs will be Thirteen . The EPITAPH . Here Five Foot deep lyes on his Back A Cobler , Starmonger , and Quack , Who to the Stars in pure Good-will , Does to his best look upward still . Weep all you Customers that use His Pills , his Almanacks , or Shoes . And you that did your Fortunes seek , Step to this Grave but once a Week , This Earth which bears his Body's Print , You'll find has so much Virtue in't , That I durst Pawn my Ears , 'twill tell Whate'er concerns you full as well , In Physick , Stolen Goods , or Love , As he himself could , when above .