Conclusion of a Letter to the Rev. Mr. C—. Mary Barber Alexander Huber Editor Bodleian Libraries, University of Oxford
Broad Street Oxford OX1 3BG UK
Eighteenth-Century Poetry Archive
Taylor Institution Library St Giles' Oxford OX1 3NA UK info@eighteenthcenturypoetry.org https://www.eighteenthcenturypoetry.org/
Oxford This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. T42622 519 p. 45 Barber, Mary, ca. 1690-1757. Poems on Several Occasions [poems only]. London Printed for C. Rivington, at the Bible and Crown in St. Paul's Church-Yard 1734 pp. 58-62. xlviii,283,[7]p.; 8⁰.

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Conclusion of a Letter to the Rev. Mr. C— Philip Chamberlain, a canon of St. Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin, during Swift's deanery. . 'Tis Time to conclude ; for I make it a Rule , To leave off all Writing , when Con. comes from School . He dislikes what I've written , and says , I had better To send what he calls a poetical Letter . To this I reply'd , You are out of your Wits ; A Letter in Verse would put him in Fits : He thinks it a Crime in a Woman to read — Then , what would he say , should your Counsel succeed ? I pity poor Barber , his Wife's so romantick : A Letter in Rhyme ! — Why , the Woman is frantick ! This Reading the Poets has quite turn'd her Head ! On my Life , she should have a dark Room , and Straw Bed . I often heard say , that St. Patrick took care , No poisonous Creature should live in this Air : He only regarded the Body , I find ; But Plato consider'd who poison'd the Mind . Would they'd follow his Precepts , who sit at the Helm , And drive Poetasters from out of the Realm ! Her Husband has surely a terrible Life ; There's nothing I dread , like a verse-writing Wife : Defend me , ye Powers , from that fatal Curse ; Which must heighten the Plagues of for better for worse ! May I have a Wife , that will dust her own Floor ; And not the fine Minx , recommended by See Sir Thomas More's Advice to his Son. More . ( That he was a Dotard , is granted , I hope , Who dy'd for asserting the Rights of the Pope . ) If ever I marry , I'll chuse me a Spouse , That shall serve and obey , as she's bound by her Vows ; That shall , when I'm dressing , attend like a Valet ; Then go to the Kitchen , and study my Palate . She has Wisdom enough , that keeps out of the Dirt , And can make a good Pudding , and cut out a Shirt . What Good's in a Dame , that will pore on a Book ? No ! — Give me the Wife , that shall save me a Cook . Thus far I had written — Then turn'd to my Son , To give him Advice , ere my Letter was done . My Son , should you marry , look out for a Wife , That's fitted to lighten the Labours of Life . Be sure , wed a Woman you thoroughly know , And shun , above all Things , a housewifely Shrew ; That would fly to your Study , with Fire in her Looks , And ask what you got by your poring on Books ; Think Dressing of Dinner the Height of all Science , And to Peace , and good Humour bid open Defiance . Avoid the fine Lady , whose Beauty's her Care ; Who sets a high Price on her Shape , and her Air ; Who in Dress , and in Visits , employs the whole Day ; And longs for the Ev'ning , to sit down to play . Chuse a Woman of Wisdom , as well as good Breeding , With a Turn , at least no Aversion , to Reading : In the Care of her Person , exact and refin'd ; Yet still , let her principal Care be her Mind : Who can , when her Family Cares give her Leisure , Without the dear Cards , pass an Ev'ning with Pleasure ; In forming her Children to Virtue and Knowledge , Nor trust , for that Care , to a School , or a College : By Learning made humble , not thence taking Airs , To despise , or neglect , her domestick Affairs : Nor think her less fitted for doing her Duty , By knowing its Reasons , its Use , and its Beauty . When you gain her Affection , take care to preserve it , Lest others persuade her , you do not deserve it . Still study to heighten the Joys of her Life ; Nor treat her the worse , for her being your Wife . If in Judgment she errs , set her right , without Pride : 'Tis the Province of insolent Fools , to deride . A Husband's first praise , is a Friend and Protector : Then change not these Titles , for Tyrant and Hector . Let your Person be neat , unaffectedly clean , Tho' alone with your Wife the whole Day you remain . Chuse Books , for her Study , to fashion her Mind , To emulate those who excell'd of her Kind . Be Religion the principal Care of your Life , As you hope to be blest in your Children and Wife : So you , in your Marriage , shall gain its true End ; And find , in your Wife , a Companion and Friend .