The Prodigy . A Letter to a Friend in the Country . Tho' Rhyme serves the Thoughts of great Poets to fetter , It sets off the Sense of small Poets the better . When I've written in Prose , I often have found , That my Sense , in a Jumble of Words , was quite drown'd . In Verse , as in Armies , that march o'er the Plain , The least Man among them is seen without Pain . This they owe to good Order , it must be allow'd ; Else Men that are little , are lost in a Croud . So much for Simile : Now , to be brief , The following Lines come to tell you my Grief . 'Tis well I can write ; for I scarcely can speak , I'm so plagu'd with my Teeth , which eternally ake . When the Wind's in the Point which opposes the South , For Fear of the Cold , I can't open my Mouth : And you know , to the Sex it must be a Heart-breaking , To have any Distemper , that keeps them from speaking . When first I was silent a Day and a Night , The Women were all in a terrible Fright . Supplications to Jove , in an Instant , they make — " Avert the Portent — a Woman not speak ! " Since Poets are Prophets , and often have sung , " The last Thing that dies in a Woman's her Tongue ; " O Jove , for what Crime is Sapphira thus curst ? " 'Tis plain by her Breathing , her Tongue has dy'd first . " Ye Powers celestial , tell Mortals , what Cause " Occasions Dame nature to break her own Laws ? " Did the Preacher live now , from his Text he must run ; " And own there was something new under the Sun . " O Jove , for the future this Punishment spare ; " And all other Evils we'll willingly bear . " Then they throng to my House , and my Maid they beseech , To say , if her Mistress had quite lost her Speech . Nell readily own'd , what they heard was too true ; That To-day I was dumb , give the Devil his Due : And frankly confess'd , were it always the Case , No Servant could e'er have a happier Place . When they found it was Fact , they began all to fear me ; And , dreading Infection , would scarcely come near me : Till a Neighbour of mine , who was famous for Speeching , Bid them be of good Cheer , the Disease was not catching ; And offer'd to prove , from Authors good Store , That the like Case with this never happen'd before ; And if Ages to come should resemble the past , As 'twas the first Instance , it would be the last . Yet against this Disorder we all ought to strive : Were I in her Case , I'd been bury'd alive . Were I one Moment silent , except in my Bed , My good natur'd Husband would swear I was dead . The next said , her Tongue was so much in her Pow'r , She was sullenly silent almost — half an Hour : That , to vex her good Man , she took this Way to teaze him ; But soon left it off , when she found it would please him : And vow'd , for the future , she'd make the Housering ; For when she was dumb , he did nothing but sing . Quite tir'd with their Talking , I held down my Head : So she who sat next me , cry'd out , I was dead . They call'd for cold Water to throw in my Face : Give her Air , give her Air — and cut open her Lace . Says good Neighbour Nevil , You're out of your Wits ; She oft , to my Knowledge , has these sullen Fits : Let her Husband come in , and make one Step that's wrong , My Life for't , the Woman will soon find her Tongue . You'll soon be convinc'd — O' my Conscience , he's here — Why what's all this Rout ? — Are you sullen , my Dear ? This struck them all silent ; which gave me some Ease . And made them imagine they'd got my Disease . So they hasted away in a terrible Fright ; And left me , in Silence , to pass the long Night . Not the Women alone were scar'd at my Fate ; 'Twas reckon'd of dreadful Portent to the State . When the Governors heard it , they greatly were troubled ; And , whilst I was silent , the Guards were all doubled : The Militia Drums beat a perpetual Alarm , To rouze up the Sons of the City to arm . A Story was rumour'd about from A small Island near Dublin . Lambey , Of a powerful Fleet , that was seen off at Sea . With Horror all list to the terrible Tale ; The Barristers tremble , the Judges grow pale ; To the Castle the frighted Nobility fly ; And the Council were summon'd , they could not tell why ; The Clergy in Crouds to the Churches repair ; And Armies , embattled , were seen in the Air . Why they were in this Fright , I have lately been told , It seems , it was sung by a Druid of old , That the Hanover Race to Great-Britain should come ; And sit on the Throne , till a Woman grew dumb . As soon as this Prophecy reach'd the Pretender , He cry'd out , My Claim to the Crown I surrender .