The CHEAT's APOLOGY. John Ellis Alexander Huber Editor Bodleian Libraries, University of Oxford
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Eighteenth-Century Poetry Archive
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Oxford This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. T131163 K104099.006 Dodsley, Robert, 1703-1764. A Collection of Poems in Six Volumes. By Several Hands. Vol. VI. London printed by J. Hughs, for R. and J. Dodsley 1763 [1st ed. 1758] pp. 268-270. 6v.: music; 8⁰.

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The CHEAT's APOLOGY . By Mr. ELLIS . 'Tis my vocation , Hal ! SHAKESPEAR . LOOK round the wide world each profession , you'll find , Hath something dishonest , which myst'ry they call ; Each knave points another , at home is stark blind , Except but his own , there's a cheat in them all : When tax'd with imposture the charge he'll evade , And like Falstaff pretend he but lives by his trade . The hero ambitious ( like Philip's great son , Who wept when he found no more mischief to do ) Ne'er scruples a neighbouring realm to o'er-run , While slaughters and carnage his sabre imbrue . Of rapine and murder the charge he'll evade , For conquest is glorious , and fighting his trade . The statesman , who steers by wise Machiavel's rules , Is ne'er to be known by his tongue or his face ; They're traps by him us'd to catch credulous fools , And breach of his promise he counts no disgrace ; But policy calls it , reproach to evade , For flatt'ry's his province , cajoling his trade . The priest will instruct you this world to despise , With all its vain pomp , for a kingdom on high ; While earthly preferments are chiefly his prize , And all his pursuits give his doctrine the lye ; He'll plead you the gospel , your charge to evade : The lab'rer's entititled to live by his trade . The lawyer , as oft on the wrong side as right , Who tortures for fee the true sense of the laws , While black he by sophistry proves to be white , And falshood and perjury lists in his cause ; With steady assurance all crime will evade : His client's his care , and he follows his trade . The sons of Machaon , who thirsty for gold The patient past cure visit thrice in a day , Write largely the Pharmacop league to uphold , While poverty's left to diseases a prey ; Are held in repute for their glitt'ring parade : Their practice is great , and they shine in their trade . Since then in all stations imposture is found , No one of another can justly complain ; The coin he receives will pass current around , And where he is cousen'd he cousens again : But I , who for cheats this apology made , Cheat myself by my rhyming , and starve by my trade .