KAMBROMYOMAXIA : OR THE MOUSE-TRAP ; Being a Translation of Mr. HOLDSWORTH'S Of this translation Mr. Holdsworth declar'd his entire approbation in a letter , by giving it this short character , that it was exceedingly well done . See preface to a dis sertation upon eight verses in the second book of Virgil's Georgies . 1749. MUSCIPULA , 1737. By **** . THE Mountain-Briton , first of men who fram'd Bonds for the Mouse , first who the tiny thief In prison clos'd vexatious — fatal wiles , And death inextricate — sing , heav'nly Muse . Thou PHOEBUS , ( for to Mice thyself wast erst A foe , in antique lore thence SMINTHEUS A title of APOLLO , given him for freeing Smintha , a colony of the Cretans near the Hellespont , from Mice , which much infested them , OVID . MET . xii . 585. A foreign , quae Cretensium linguâ murem domesticum sign . AINSWORTH . call'd , ) Inspire the Song ; and 'mongst the Cambrian Hills Thy Pindus choosing , smile upon the Muse , Whom lowly themes and humble verse delight . The Mouse , an hostile Animal , enur'd To live by rapine , now long time had rov'd Where'er his lust innate of spoil led on ; And unaveng'd his wicked craft pursu'd ; Long fearless , unaveng'd — All things on earth Felt his fell tooth , while safe in nimble speed Evasive , he in ev'ry dainty dish His revels held secure . Nought was untouch'd , But ev'ry feast wail'd the domestic foe , A constant guest unbidden . Nor strong walls His thefts obstruct , nor massy bars avail , Nor doors robust , to save the luscious cates : Through walls , and bars , and doors he eats his way Contemptuous , and regales with unbought fare . Thus wail'd the helpless world the general foe , But Cambria most ; for Cambria's od'rous stores Most stimulate the curious taste of Mouse : Not with a taste content , or lambent kiss , ( The fate of common cheese , ) he undermines And hollows with reiterated tooth Eatable Palaces . The Nation saw , And rag'd — Revenge and grief distract their minds — What shou'd they do ? They foam , they gnash their teeth , And o'er their pendant rocks in fury rove , Restless with rage — for Nature prone to rage The Cambrians form'd , and bade their fiery breasts Burst into sudden flame — that men would deem Their souls were with their fingers sulphur-ting'd . It is decreed — Rage prompts them to revenge Unsated but with blood — Yet by what means , What art the cautious felon to ensnare , They doubt : for , Cambria , thy Grimalkin race Nor to the house defence , nor in distress So imminent , cou'd aught of succour bring . Oft had the Cat plac'd at the cavern's mouth The various ambuscade ; as oft with paw Soft-silent creeping , near the hollow cell Kept wary watch — In vain — The little Mouse In little bulk secure , ( advantage great Over a Giant Foe ! ) if chance he spy Her watching at his door intent on prey , Inward he flies , his serpentine recess Pursues , and caves impervious to Cat : Nor dares again thrust out his head in air , Nor form new sallies , till the siege be rais'd , And danger with the watchful foe withdrawn . The Cambrians thus , ( if Cambrians with the Mouse We may compare , ) when Roman JULIUS sought To join the Britons to the world subdu'd , Eluded his vain toil . — To their retreat At once a nation vanish'd ; in their rocks , Rampires impregnable , lay safe obscur'd ' Mid circling ruin ; and of conquest though Despairing , to be conquerable scorn'd . Their long , unbroken lineage hence they boast , Their country unsubdued , and ancient tongue . Thus did the Mouse , by custom tutor'd , oft Evade the hostile paw ; nor Cambria's sons Had hope from their confederate of the war : When strait , on th' utmost frontiers of their Land , Where now Menevia the shrunk honours mourns Of her divided mitre , of whose walls Half-buried but an empty name remains , Behold a Council summons'd . From each side See Nobles , Fathers , and the vulgar throng Of stench sulphureous , mix . An ancient Sage , Whose length of beard oft from his native hills The goat with envy ey'd ; his hands , his face With scurf of ancient growth encrusted o'er ; Broken with years , against a post reclin'd , ( By Cambrian backs still shaken ) in the midst Stood visible to all , and with deep tone These words precipitating , gutt'ral spake . " Of open war we treat not , but sly theft — " No foreign foe , but a too inmate guest " ( That heavier evil ) summons us to meet . " Still shall the bold insulter lord it thus , " The tyrant Mouse ? Rouse , aweful Fathers , rouse ; " Ye , to whose breasts your country's good is dear , " By counsel end these horrors ; and if aught " Of hope remain , now lend propitious aid : " So shall your glory grow , your names be known " Immortal as CAIDWALADER'S in fame . " He spake , and strait the fragments , mouldy scraps , Reliques of rapine , monuments of theft , High in their sight uprearing , rous'd their rage . Now thirst of dire revenge , now lust of fame Burns emulous , and fires each Patriot breast ; Each meditates to Mouse unheard of fate , And ev'ry brain is hamm'ring on a TRAP . But one 'bove all by th' honour-added name Of TAFFY fam'd , far more for wit renown'd : Cambria ne'er bred his peer , whether at forge , Or council ; Senator and Blacksmith He . Thus 'gan the Sage — " Should Cheese , our Nation's boast , " In Cambria be extinct , I fear our hinds " Wou'd mourn their whole meals sunk , and Nobles grieve " The honours lost , that crown'd the second course . " Since then nor Cambria's courage , nor her Cats " Against the monsters can prevail , we'll try " If this mechanic hand , if craft , deceit , " Can aught advantage : in a foe none asks " If force prevail , or fraud . " Strait at this boast , All fix on TAFFY their expecting eyes , All in glad murmurs speak their promis'd joy , Wait whence the bliss ; question , and burn to know . Scratching his head , ( as British heads demand , ) He ghastly smil'd , and strait with freer air Proceeded thus — " When wearied , at the close " Of yester sun I gave my limbs to rest , " And slumber deep my eyes had quench'd ; a Mouse " Bold and pursuing , as I guess , the trail , " Which unconnected Cheese recent exhal'd " From out my viscous jaws , stole down my mouth " Then discontinuous ; and reaching now " My very entrails , strait their crude contents " 'Gan gnaw , and through my throat ill-fortified " My yester's meal , alas ! triumphant drags . " When sudden rous'd from sleep , in his retreat " I 'twixt my teeth the felon snap'd , and bound " Vainly rebellious in the biting chain . " Instructed thus that Mouse might be enthrall'd , " New visionary prison-houses rise " In my revolving mind , and such restraints , " As the late captive of my jaws suggests . " By what mysterious laws the hand of JOVE " Moves sublunary things ! By what hid rules " The chain of causes acts ! the Mouse himself " To us involuntary succour brings , " And for the wounds he gave himself prescribes . " Blush not by such a master to improve ; " From foes to learn , honour nor right forbids . " These said , homeward he his . Th' applauding throng Accompany his route , and to his toil Propitious omens beg . Each to his house Bends his swift course ; each to his Lares flies , Glad harbinger of this expected birth From TAFFY'S brain : and whilst they tell the tale , Whilst to the Gods for glad event they bend Of the great enterprize , the Mousing Kind ( Prophetic instinct ! ) shew unwonted joy Gamesome ; and ( if we credit Fame ) beneath The matron's hand dances the embryo cheese . TAFFY mean while with head , and hand , and heart , Plies his great work , with PALLAS' aid divine The MOUSE-TRAP builds . A wonderful machine Now stood confess'd ; and form 'till then unknown The Tragi-comic edifice indu'd . Now smile , sweet Muse , and to our sight disclose The infant fabric ; each particular Dilate , and join them in the finish'd pile . Of oblong form twin planks of wood compose The base and roof ; a wiry palisade Fences each side , on whose small columns rais'd The fabric stands : th' insi'dious gate invites With friendly-seeming welcome ; but on high , Depending from a slender thread , the vast Portcullis threats , to thoughtless Mice sure death . ( Such is the thread of life , spun by the FATES To Mouse and Man — All on a thread depend . ) Amidst the level roof shoots up a mast Erect , in whose cleft head a slender beam Transverse inserted plays , and on each side Extends its poised arms ; whose one extreme Depress'd , one equally the pendent door Exalts . Within , let through a slender bore , A wire depends that fluctuates with a touch ; The lower part is cramp'd into a hook , Tenacious of the bait ; while th' upper gripes Th' extremest handle of the treach'rous beam . But soon as e'er it feels the foe to 've touch'd The fatal food , the loosen'd portal strait Lets fall , and speaks the first attack reveng'd . Things thus dispos'd , instant the pendent hook TAFFY with treason cloaths , and turns to death The very food of Mouse : but , that his cheese More fragrant may from far the Foe invite , Toasts the fell bait , and strengthens the perfume . And now appear'd the memorable night , When on his bed TAFFY his limbs fatigu'd Reposing , near his pillow's downy side His Minion MOUSE-TRAP set , and all-secure I' th' faithful centry , slumber sweet indulg'd . The frolic Mice , ( a tribe audacious they ) Safe in the covert of the silent night , Now sport abroad : when one , a leader Mouse , Of nose sagacious , born the Gods his foes , The hostile ambush seeks , led by the scent Of toasted cheese delicious . The Grate resists His swift career , and entrance first denies — But he , to suffer such severe repulse Indignant , round the wiry fortress scours , And crisps his nose , and with sagacious beard A pass explores ; and enter'd now the lines , Impassable again , of all his wish At length possess'd , the deadly bait secures , Feasts on his ruin , and enjoys his fate . TAFFY , whom strait the pendulous door , scarce drop'd , With sudden clap had wak'd , you might behold Now on his elbow prop'd , now from his bed Skipping triumphant , fir'd with thirst to know What new-come guest . The Mouse ridiculous Rages within , batters with front and foot , Proves with his head each wiry interval , And wears with raging tooth his iron hold . Driv'n to the toils so raves the Marsian boar Horrid , and shakes his waving bonds , the sport Of circling dogs ; he flings about his foam , And on his front erect the bristles stare . The morrow came , and from her rocky highths , Precipitant , whole Cambria pours ; for strait In ev'ry ear the novel tale was rife — Nor wonder , for the Ass , his solemn wont Relax'd , nor mindful of his late slow pace , The mountain climbs more wanton than the kid : Thence with sonorous din from rusty throat , ( The Cambrian Herald simulating , ) thrice Thee , TAFFY , bray'd ; thrice told the public joy . Nor less the Owl ; ( from that great Aera term'd Cambria's Embassador : ) for through her towns , And utmost limits wand'ring wild that night , She scratch'd the windows with her ominous beak , Grating harsh dissonance , and sung in shrieks The instant fate of Mouse . The lab'ring rocks Bring forth , and Pembroke's , and Mervinia's sons In swarms condens'd rush down ; and whom the walls Of Bonium hold , and Maridunum fam'd For their prophetic bard , MERLIN ; and whom Fruitful Glamorgan feeds , and he that drinks Of Vaga's stream , with the rough hardy clown Montgomery manures . — Then TAFFY , 'midst The crowded ring , his raging prey insults . " Vain are thy efforts — fix'd thy doom of death , " On this my altar the first victim thou , " To dye with memorable blood the frame . " No hope remains : thy flight these wiry posts " Inexorable bar — Dread , wicked wight , " The fate thy merits ask ; for these thy bonds " Thou quit'st not but with life . " The fatal words Scarce had he spoke , when from the sunny thatch , ( Her wonted haunt , when with extended limbs She basks luxurious , winking in soft ease , ) Down leap'd the playful Cat . — Her swift approach The captive eyes , and pricks his ears , and stiff Bristles his gibbous back , nor dares attempt The portal now up-drawn ; but his sole hope Of freedom only in his prison fix'd , With hooked talons grasps his bonds , and hangs Tenacious by his feet — At length he drops Out-shaken : instant to her prey the Cat Flies rapid , and With rude , embrace enfolds , And savage kisses on her struggling foe ( Vain efforts ! ) cruelly imprints . No pause Her rage admits ; her sinuous-twirling tail Denotes the Victor's joy ; her body moves Agil in wanton frolicks , watching now Prone on the earth intent the destin'd Mouse ; His neck now lightly pats with hurtless paw , Dissembling love ; but ruminates the while To tear him limb from limb . The Mouser thus , Witty in tyranny , with various art Wanton barbarity enjoys : but now , Tir'd with the sportive mockery , no more Conceals her rage , but o'er her trembling prey Like the starv'd lion hangs , and growling tears His gory entrails , and convulsive limbs . The circling croud , soon as his hated blood Sprinkled they spy , fill with glad shouts the air ; And ECHO , tenant of the Cambrian hills , Their clam'rous joy repeats ; Plinlimmon's highth , And Brechin with the loftier Snowdon join : To th' neighb'ring stars the loud acclaim ascends , And OFFA'S Ditch rebellows to the din . TAFFY , for ever live — Ev'n to this day Thy gift the Cambrian celebrates ; and Thee Commemorates each circling year . The land Grateful , its native honours to maintain , Each joyful head crowns redolent with Leek .