The
Progress
of
DISCONTENT
.
A
POEM
.
Written
at
Oxford
in
the
Year
1746.
WHEN
now
mature
in
classic
knowledge
,
The
joyful
youth
is
sent
to
college
,
His
father
comes
,
a
vicar
plain
,
At
Oxford
bred
—
in
Anna's
reign
,
And
thus
in
form
of
humble
suitor
Bowing
accosts
a
reverend
tutor
.
"
Sir
,
I'm
a
Glo'stershire
divine
,
"
And
this
my
eldest
son
of
nine
;
"
My
wife's
ambition
and
my
own
"
Was
that
this
child
should
wear
a
gown
:
"
I'll
warrant
that
his
good
behaviour
"
Will
justify
your
future
favour
:
"
And
for
his
parts
,
to
tell
the
truth
,
"
My
son's
a
very
forward
youth
;
"
Has
Horace
all
by
heart
—
you'd
wonder
—
"
And
mouths
out
Homer's
Greek
like
thunder
.
"
If
you'd
examine
—
and
admit
him
,
"
A
scholarship
would
nicely
fit
him
:
"
That
he
succeeds
'tis
ten
to
one
;
"
Your
vote
and
interest
,
Sir
!
—
'Tis
done
.
"
Our
pupil's
hopes
,
tho'
twice
defeated
,
Are
with
a
scholarship
compleated
:
A
scholarship
but
half
maintains
,
And
college
rules
are
heavy
chains
:
In
garret
dark
he
smokes
and
puns
,
A
prey
to
discipline
and
duns
;
And
now
intent
on
new
designs
,
Sighs
for
a
fellowship
—
and
fines
.
When
nine
full
tedious
winters
past
,
That
utmost
wish
is
crown'd
at
last
:
But
the
rich
prize
no
sooner
got
,
Again
he
quarrels
with
his
lot
:
"
These
fellowships
are
pretty
things
,
"
We
live
indeed
like
petty
kings
:
"
But
who
can
bear
to
waste
his
whole
age
"
Amid
the
dullness
of
a
college
,
"
Debarr'd
the
common
joys
of
life
,
"
And
that
prime
bliss
—
a
loving
wife
!
"
O
!
what's
a
table
richly
spread
"
Without
a
woman
at
its
head
!
"
Would
some
snug
benefice
but
fall
,
"
Ye
feasts
,
ye
dinners
!
farewel
all
!
"
To
offices
I'd
bid
adieu
,
"
Of
dean
,
vice
praes
.
—
of
bur
"
Come
joys
,
that
rural
quiet
yields
,
"
Come
,
tythes
,
and
house
,
and
fruitful
fields
!
"
Too
fond
of
liberty
and
ease
A
patriot's
vanity
to
please
,
Long
time
he
watches
,
and
by
stealth
,
Each
frail
incumbent's
doubtful
health
;
At
length
—
and
in
his
fortieth
year
,
A
living
drops
—
two
hundred
clear
!
With
breast
elate
beyond
expression
,
He
hurries
down
to
take
possession
,
With
rapture
views
the
sweet
retreat
—
"
What
a
convenient
house
!
how
neat
!
"
For
fuel
here's
sufficient
wood
:
"
Pray
God
the
cellars
may
be
good
!
"
The
garden
—
that
must
be
new
plann'd
—
"
Shall
these
old-fashion'd
yew-trees
stand
?
"
O'er
yonder
vacant
plot
shall
rise
"
The
flow'ry
shrub
of
thousand
dies
:
—
"
Yon'
wall
,
that
feels
the
southern
ray
,
"
Shall
blush
with
ruddy
fruitage
gay
;
"
While
thick
beneath
its
aspect
warm
"
O'er
well-rang'd
hives
the
bees
shall
swarm
,
"
From
which
,
ere
long
,
of
golden
gleam
"
Metheglin's
luscious
juice
shall
stream
:
"
This
aukward
hut
o'er-grown
with
ivy
,
"
We'll
alter
to
a
modern
privy
:
"
Up
yon'
green
slope
,
of
hazels
trim
,
"
An
avenue
so
cool
and
dim
,
"
Shall
to
an
arbour
,
at
the
end
,
"
In
spite
of
gout
,
intice
a
friend
.
"
My
predecessor
lov'd
devotion
—
"
But
of
a
garden
had
no
notion
.
"
Continuing
this
fantastic
farce
on
,
He
now
commences
country
parson
.
To
make
his
character
entire
,
He
weds
—
a
cousin
of
the
'squire
;
Not
over-weighty
in
the
purse
,
But
many
doctors
have
done
worse
:
And
tho'
she
boast
no
charms
divine
,
Yet
she
can
carve
,
and
make
birch
wine
.
Thus
fixt
,
content
he
taps
his
barrel
,
Exhorts
his
neighbours
not
to
quarrel
:
Finds
his
church-wardens
have
discerning
Both
in
good
liquor
and
good
learning
;
With
tythes
his
barns
replete
he
sees
,
And
chuckles
o'er
his
surplice
sees
;
Studies
to
find
out
latent
dues
,
And
regulates
the
state
of
pews
;
Rides
a
sleek
mare
with
purple
housing
,
To
share
the
monthly
club's
carousing
;
Of
Oxford
pranks
facetious
tells
,
And
—
but
on
Sundays
—
hears
no
bells
;
Sends
presents
of
his
choicest
fruit
,
And
prunes
himself
each
sapless
shoot
,
Plants
colliflow'rs
,
and
boasts
to
rear
The
earliest
melons
of
the
year
;
Thinks
alteration
charming
work
is
,
Keeps
Bantam
cocks
,
and
feeds
his
turkies
;
Builds
in
his
copse
a
favourite
bench
,
And
stores
the
pond
with
carp
and
tench
.
—
But
ah
!
too
soon
his
thoughtless
breast
By
cares
domestic
is
opprest
;
And
a
third
butcher's
bill
,
and
brewing
,
Threaten
inevitable
ruin
:
For
children
fresh
expences
yet
,
And
Dicky
now
for
school
is
fit
.
"
Why
did
I
sell
my
college
life
"
(
He
cries
)
for
benefice
and
wife
?
"
Return
,
ye
days
!
when
endless
pleasure
"
I
found
in
reading
,
or
in
leisure
!
"
When
calm
around
the
common
room
"
I
puff'd
my
daily
pipe's
perfume
!
"
Rode
for
a
stomach
,
and
inspected
"
At
annual
bottlings
,
corks
selected
:
"
And
din'd
untax'd
,
untroubled
,
under
"
The
pourtrait
of
our
pious
founder
!
"
When
impositions
were
supply'd
"
To
light
my
pipe
—
or
sooth
my
pride
—
"
No
cares
were
then
for
forward
peas
"
A
yearly-longing
wife
to
please
:
"
My
thoughts
no
christ'ning
dinner
crost
,
"
No
children
cry'd
for
butter'd
toast
;
"
And
ev'ry
night
I
went
to
bed
,
"
Without
a
Modus
in
my
head
!
"
Oh
!
trifling
head
,
and
fickle
heart
!
Chagrin'd
at
whatsoe'er
thou
art
;
A
dupe
to
follies
yet
untry'd
,
And
sick
of
pleasures
,
scarce
enjoy'd
!
Each
prize
possess'd
,
thy
transport
ceases
,
And
in
pursuit
alone
it
pleases
.