ADVICE to a LADY. George Lyttelton, 1st Baron Lyttelton Alexander Huber Editor Bodleian Libraries, University of Oxford
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Eighteenth-Century Poetry Archive
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Oxford This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. T131163 K104099.002 Dodsley, Robert, 1703-1764. A Collection of Poems in Six Volumes. By Several Hands. Vol. II. London printed by J. Hughs, for R. and J. Dodsley 1763 [1st ed. 1758] pp. 41-46. 6v.: music; 8⁰.

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ADVICE to a LADY . By the Same . 1731. THE counsels of a friend , Belinda , hear , Too roughly kind to please a Lady's ear , Unlike the flatt'ries of a lover's pen , Such truths as women seldom learn from men . Nor think I praise you ill , when thus I shew What female Vanity might fear to know : Some merit's mine , to dare to be sincere , But greater your's , sincerity to bear . Hard is the fortune that your sex attends ; Women , like Princes , find few real friends : All who approach them their own ends pursue : Lovers and ministers are seldom true . Hence oft from Reason heedless Beauty strays , And the most trusted Guide the most betrays : Hence by fond dreams of fancy'd pow'r amus'd , When most you tyrannize you're most abus'd . What is your sex's earliest , latest care , Your heart's supreme ambition ? To be fair : For this the toilet ev'ry thought employs , Hence all the toils of dress , and all the joys : For this , hands , lips , and eyes are put to school , And each instructive feature has its rule ; And yet how few have learnt , when this is giv'n . Not to disgrace the partial boon of heav'n ? How few with all their pride of form can move ? How few are lovely , that were made for love ? Do you , my fair , endeavour to possess An elegance of mind as well as dress ; Be that your ornament , and know to please By grateful Nature's unaffected ease . Nor make to dang'rous Wit a vain pretence , But wisely rest content with modest Sense ; For wit , like wine , intoxicates the brain , Too strong for feeble women to sustain ; Of those who claim it , more than half have none , And half of those who have it , are undone . Be still superior to your sex's arts , Nor think Dishonesty a proof of Parts ; For you the plainest is the wisest rule , A CUNNING WOMAN is a KNAVISH FOOL . Be good yourself , nor think another's shame Can raise your merit , or adorn your fame . Prudes rail at whores , as statesmen in disgrace At ministers , because they wish their place . Virtue is amiable , mild , serene , Without all beauty , and all peace within : The honour of a prude is rage and storm , 'Tis ugliness in its most frightful form : Fiercely it stands defying gods and men , As fiery monsters guard a giant's den . Seek to be good , but aim not to be great : A woman's noblest station is Retreat ; Her fairest virtues fly from publick sight , Domestick worth , that shuns too strong a light . To rougher man Ambition's task resign : 'Tis ours in Senates or in Courts to shine , To labour for a sunk corrupted state , Or dare the rage of envy , and be great . One only care your gentle breasts should move , Th' important business of your life is Love : To this great point direct your constant aim , This makes your Happiness , and this your Fame . Be never cool reserve with passion join'd ; With caution chuse ; but then be fondly kind . The selfish heart , that but by halves is giv'n , Shall find no place in Love's delightful heav'n ; Here sweet extremes alone can truly bless , The virtue of a lover is excess . A maid unask'd may own a well-plac'd flame , Not loving first , but loving wrong is shame . Contemn the little pride of giving pain , Nor think that conquest justifies disdain ; Short is the period of insulting Pow'r ; Offended Cupid finds his vengeful hour , Soon will resume the empire which he gave , And soon the Tyrant shall become the Slave . Blest is the maid , and worthy to be blest , Whose soul , entire by him she loves possess'd , Feels ev'ry vanity in fondness lost , And asks no pow'r , but that of pleasing most : Her's is the bliss in just return to prove The honest warmth of undissembled Love ; For her , inconstant man might cease to range , And Gratitude forbid Desire to change . But lest harsh Care the lover's peace destroy , And roughly blight the tender buds of joy , Let Reason teach what Passion fain would hide , That Hymen's bands by Prudence should be ty'd , Venus in vain the wedded pair would crown , If angry Fortune on their union frown : Soon will the flatt'ring dream of bliss be o'er , And cloy'd imagination cheat no more . Then waking to the sense of lasting pain , With mutual tears the nuptial couch they stain ; And that fond love , which should afford relief , Does but increase the anguish of their grief ; While both could easier their own sorrows bear , Than the sad knowledge of each other's care . Yet may you rather feel that virtuous pain , Than sell your violated charms for gain ; Than wed the wretch whom you despise , or hate , For the vain glare of useless wealth or state . The most abandoned prostitutes are they , Who not to Love , but Av'rice fall a prey : Nor aught avails the specious name of WIFE ; A maid so wedded , is a WHORE FOR LIFE . Ev'n in the happiest choice , where fav'ring Heav'n Has equal love , and easy fortune giv'n , Think not , the husband gain'd , that all is done ; The prize of Happiness must still be won ; And oft , the careless find it to their cost , The Lover in the Husband may be lost ; The Graces might alone his heart allure ; They and the Virtues meeting must secure . Let ev'n your Prudence wear the pleasing dress Of care for him , and anxious tenderness . From kind concern about his weal or woe , Let each domestick duty seem to flow ; The HOUSHOLD SCEPTRE , if he bids you bear , Make it your pride his servant to appear ; Endearing thus the common acts of life , The Mistress still shall charm him in the Wife ; And wrinkled age shall unobserv'd come on , Before his eye perceives one beauty gone : Ev'n o'er your cold , and ever-sacred urn , His constant flame shall unextinguish'd burn . Thus I , Belinda , would your charms improve , And form your heart to all the arts of Love ; The task were harder to secure my own Against the pow'r of those already known ; For well you twist the secret chains that bind With gentle force the captivated mind , Skill'd ev'ry soft attraction to employ , Each flatt'ring hope , and each alluring joy ; I own your genius , and from you receive The rules of Pleasing , which to you I give .