Of FRIENDSHIP. To CELIA. Stephen Duck Alexander Huber Editor Bodleian Libraries, University of Oxford
Broad Street Oxford OX1 3BG UK
Eighteenth-Century Poetry Archive
Taylor Institution Library St Giles' Oxford OX1 3NA UK info@eighteenthcenturypoetry.org https://www.eighteenthcenturypoetry.org/
Oxford This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. T90234 K073280.000 Duck, Stephen, 1705-1756. Poems on several occasions: By Stephen Duck. London printed for the author 1736 pp. 316-334. xl,334,[2]p. ; 4⁰.

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Of FRIENDSHIP . To CELIA . O CELIA ! You , whose Rays of friendly Fire , Constant as those of Nature , ne'er expire ; If in your Breast no weighty Cares you find , Nor better Thoughts employ your gen'rous Mind ; Vouchsafe an Ear : These Numbers are your Due ; I sing of Friendship , and I sing to You : Friendship ! a Theme , which all Mankind profess , No Virtue more admire , none practise less ; For most have learn'd the Grecian BIAS in CICERO de Amic. § 16. Sage's Text , " To love one Day , as if to hate the next . " They change , forsake , as serves their selfish Ends , Nor are their Dresses vary'd more than Friends . YOU therefore , who are worthy Friendship's Name , And cherish in your Breast the genuine Flame , Attend to what a faithful Muse imparts , A Muse unpractis'd in fallacious Arts : Tho' young in Life , that Life has made her know , A friendly Aspect oft conceals a Foe ; That , tho' so many seeming Friends abound , For one that's true , a thousand false are found . WHEN first you strive a faithful Friend to find , Explore the secret Motives of his Mind ; Nor , rashly credulous , his Friendship trust , Before you know , what Passion rules him most : But , as a Horseman checks the Courser's Speed , Till he has try'd the Temper of his Steed ; So check the Reins of Friendship , till you prove , What sways the Person , Interest , or Love . AVOID the Fop impertinently vain , And shun the Slave , who flatters you for Gain ; Beware of him , who sells you for a Jest ; But , most of all , beware the leaky Breast : ( Who hopes to keep his Wine the Season round , Must first be sure his Cask is sweet and sound ) Nor should a formal Fool your Friendship claim , Tho' Wealth and Honours dignify his Name . Let Knaves and Fools in kindred Vices join ; Chuse you a Friend , where Sense and Virtue shine ; Whose Passions move by Reason's Rule alone , Much better , if agreeing with your own . The Hart and Lion at a Distance keep ; Wolves company with Wolves , and Sheep with Sheep : So we , by Nature's sympathetic Pow'rs , Most love those Tempers , that resemble ours . YET , if it be too difficult to find A Friend so justly moulded to your Mind , Among the virtuous Few select the best ; And such is he , whose Failings are the least : Let him a modest Freedom always claim , To praise your Virtues , or your Vices blame ; Nor be displeas'd his mild Reproof to hear ; For Friends may often kindly be severe ; The Best sometimes each other may controul , Yet not destroy the Harmony of Soul . Rough Notes in Music never should be found , Except adapted to improve the Sound . WHEN mutual Faith the friendly Knot has ty'd , And when that mutual Faith is truly try'd , Prey not upon yourself ; nor be opprest With conscious Pains , that struggle in your Breast : For , as the Flames , in Aetna closely pent , Convulse the Mountain , lab'ring for a Vent ; Thus in the Soul uneasy Thoughts confin'd , For want of Passage , rack the suff'ring Mind . Unveil your Bosom to your other Part ; Your Friend shall share the Burden of your Heart , Alleviate ev'ry Ill your Soul sustains , Double your Pleasures , and divide your Pains . BE zealous for your Friends , whene'er you know Their Reputation censur'd by a Foe ; Nor with a faint Excuse degrade your Friends ; The Man , who coldly praises , discommends . Or are they justly censur'd for a Crime ? Reprove them mildly at some proper Time : In private chide all Failings which you find , In public praise the Beauties of their Mind ; Place all their Virtues in the clearest Light , Omit their Faults , or touch them very slight ; As Painters , when they draw a beauteous Face , Contract a Blemish , heighten ev'ry Grace . NEITHER let Passion , Pride , or private Ends , Or changing Fortune , make you change your Friends . Who varies oft , a faithless Temper shows , Or , at the best , ill Judgment , when he chose . Some Persons with themselves so disagree , They're fix'd to nothing but Inconstancy ; With each new Day , new Resolutions come , Expel the former , and usurp their Room : Succeeding Billows thus the foremost throng , Tides roll on Tides , and Waves urge Waves along . Not but we may with a new Friend engage , Before we see an old one quit the Stage ; Yet should not think the new our old exceeds , As Ut equis vetulis teneros anteponere solemus — Veterrima quaeque ( ut ea vina , quae vetustatem ferunt ) esse debent suavissima . Cic. de Amic. § 19. Jockeys value most their youngest Steeds . One Maxim will in Wine and Friendship hold , Alike the better both for being old . BUT must we then be bound in deathless Bands , And still obey whate'er a Friend commands ? Aid him to gain what he unjustly craves ? No — Leave the Man , who Truth and Virtue leaves . Should furious CATILINE some Plot devise , To ruin Thousands , that himself might rise ; The Laws of Honour , Truth , and Conscience show , 'Tis Friendship to the World to be his Foe . Or , should a Friend basely betray his Trust , To pardon him were to yourself unjust : For , — Neque amissos colores Lana refert medicata fuco ; Nec vera virtus , cum semel excidit , Curat reponi deterioribus . Hor. Ode 5. Lib. III . as the Wool , with Crimson colour'd o'er , Never acquires its native Whiteness more ; So he who breaks his Faith , will ne'er obtain Your Credit , nor his Innocence again . If otherwise he disoblige his Friends , ( For where's the perfect Man , who ne'er offends ? ) Try if his Ear will kind Reproof endure ; And , if the Balm of Counsel work a Cure , O'erlook the Failure : All offend , that live ; Let Foes resent a Trespass , Friends forgive . Yet let the pardon'd Friend not , many times , Proceed in Folly , and repeat his Crimes . Tho' purest Gold a vast Extent will bear , Yet purest Gold will break , if stretch'd too far : And Friends may bear some Slips from Wisdom's Rule ; But who can pardon the persisting Fool ? Pestem enim majorem esse nullam in amicitiis , quam in plerisque pecuniae cupiditatem , in optimis quibusque honoris certamen & gloriae , ex quo inimicilias maximas saepe inter amicissimos extitisse . Cic. de Amic. § 10. AMONG the various Causes , that conspire To cool our Love , and quench the friendly Fire , Vile Avarice assumes the greatest Pow'r , A God which base ignoble Souls adore : To pleasure him , a Tide of broken Vows ( Needful Libations ! ) on his Altar flows : Yet , never satisfy'd , he craves for more ; And keeps his Votaries , in Plenty , poor : Who worships him , will break the friendly Bands , Whene'er the sordid , selfish God commands . OTHERS there are , induc'd by Thirst of Praise , ( And ev'n the greatest Men this Passion sways ) Who quit their Friends for Honours of the State , And turn their Love into the rankest Hate . Nor is it wonder these desert their Friends , Since all are Foes , who will not serve their Ends : For wild Ambition like a Torrent roars , Which , when obstructed , climbs th'opposing Shores ; Till to the Top the lab'ring Flood attains , Swells o'er the Banks , and foams along the Plains . Not but we may an honest Fame embrace ; Nay , Friends should aid us in the glorious Chace . Man has some Principle of heav'nly Fire , That warms his Breast , and prompts him to aspire ; Wakes him to Actions of superior Kind , And keeps alive the Faculties of Mind ; For Sloth begets a Lethargy of Soul , As want of Motion taints the clearest Pool : Yet , if , too fond and covetous of Fame , We blow that native Spark into a Flame , It quickly rises to a firy Storm , And burns the Fabric 'twas design'd to warm . What Bands of Nature can restrain its Course ? What friendly Offices suppress its Force ? See how its Rage the young JUOURTHA . Numidian fires , The worst of Children to the best of Sires ! Deep , thro' his Brothers Blood , he wades his Way , And leaps o'er Gratitude to Regal Sway . Young CAESAR's Tutor by his Pupil dies , While TULLY falls by him he help'd to rise ; Friends , Fathers , Brothers , Uncles , yield to Fate , To make three Tyrants infamously great ! O ! grant me , gracious Heav'n , where-e'er I go , To be a faithful Friend , or gen'rous Foe ; Nor let me pant so much for empty Praise , As to obtain it by dishonest Ways ; Nor wrong my Friend , tho' 'twere to gain a Throne ; Nor ruin others Fame , to raise my own . HE who is only learn'd in Books , will find A harder Lesson , when he learns Mankind ; A Volume gilded o'er with smiling Art , Where few can read the Meaning of the Heart . We often take our Flatterers for Friends ; One would suspect the Man who still commends , Who , like the Sharper in the Roman Play , Or right or wrong , assents to all you say ; Bends here or there , which way his Lord's inclin'd , As Reeds submit to ev'ry diff'rent Wind . Nor is it strange such Parasites prevail , When greedy Ears devour their flatt'ring Tale : While THRASO loves to hear his Praises told , GNATHO will give him Praise , and take his Gold . But you , who walk by Wisdom's safer Rules , ( For 'twere but Labour lost to counsel Fools ) Detest the Wretch , who ne'er can Courage find To speak the genuine Dictates of his Mind ; But , like the Syrens sweet , pernicious Song , At once would charm and ruin with his Tongue . YET some there are , in social Bands ally'd , Who , with blunt Truths , err on the other Side ; Void of Good-nature , and Good-breeding too , They sourly censure ev'ry thing you do . O ! never flatter ev'n a Monarch's Pride , Nor , with the Sternness of a Cynic , chide ; But , when you would an erring Friend reprove , Let gentle Cautions shew , the Motive's Love : Do not begin with Rashness to exclaim ; But rather hint the Fault , before you blame . 'Tis not enough your Admonition's just ; Prudence must guide it , or the Labour's lost : Friends should allure , and charm us into Sense ; Harsh Counsels not reform , but give Offence . Nature , impatient of severe Reproof , Loves mild Instruction , but abhors the rough : As Fruits and Flow'rs improve with gentle Rain ; But fade , if rapid Storms o'erflow the Plain . SOME Men are Friends , when Fortune fills the Sails , And wafts you on with favourable Gales ; But quit the tott'ring Ship , and make to Shore , When Storms descend , and adverse Surges roar . Long as in Credit , Pow'r , or Place you stand , Their fawning , formal Friendship you command : With twenty Squeezes , and a hundred Bows , As many Compliments , as many Vows , They swear your Interest shall be their own , And wish the Time to make it better known ; Like false hot Coursers , waiting for the Chace , Which foam , and neigh , and proudly spurn the Grass , Intent to run ; but droop their jaded Crest , And fail you most , when most you want their Haste . WE make a Prostitute of Friendship's Name , If only Complaisance supports our Claim . And yet there are , of this polite Degree , Who treat you still with forc'd Civility ; In each obliging Art so well refin'd , Tho' ever false , they never seem unkind . Not that my Muse would Decency offend ; For 'tis Good-breeding polishes a Friend : Nor shines it less , with Truth and Virtue join'd , Than comely Features with a noble Mind : But those , whose Friendships most in Speeches dwell , Neglect the Fruit , and trifle with the Shell . True Friendship more intrinsic Worth affords , Defin'd by Actions better than by Words ; A warm Affection , that can never cool , Concord of Mind , and Music of the Soul ; Which tunes the jarring Strings of Life to Love , Shews Men below , how Angels live above . There are in Friendship such attractive Charms , It draws Esteem from those it never warms . See how Qui clamores tota cavea nuper in hospitis & amici mci M. Pacuvii nova sabula , cum , ignorante rege , uter eorum esset Orestes , Pylades Orestem se esse diceret , ut pro illo necaretur ; Orestes autem , ita ut erat , Orestem se esse perseveraret ? Stantes plaudebant in re sicta : quid arbitramur in vera fuisse facturos ? Cic. de Amic. § 7. PACUVIUS' tragic Scenes could move The People's Praises with fictitious Love ! When on the Stage two doubtful Princes strive , Each seeking Death , to keep his Friend alive : Now PYLADES deceives the Monarch's Eye ; Faithful , yet fraudulent , resolves to die : ORESTES now displays the friendly Cheat , Invites the threat'ning Sword , and courts his Fate . Mov'd with their gen'rous Love , the Audience rose ; With social Flame each changing Bosom glows ; All feel the sacred Pow'r of Friendship's Laws , And the Stage rocks , and thunders with Applause . I know the Muse may give to some Offence , ( Tho' rather Men of Wit , than Men of Sense ) Whose Counsel is ; " Be not engag'd too far ; " The greatest Friendship brings the greatest Care : " Our own Concerns have Plagues enough in Store ; " Who joins in Friendship , only makes 'em more : " The Cares and Troubles , which your Friend endures , " Are all by Sympathy adopted yours . " WHAT base , ungen'rous , selfish Souls are these ? Mere Quacks , who turn ev'n Health into Disease ; And but the darkest Side of Friendship find , To all its radiant Beams and Beauties blind . Two faithful Friends , in any State , may gain Comfort to heighten Joy , or lessen Pain : If weighty Cares the pensive Mind invade , They make the Burden light with mutual Aid ; If Profit , or if Pleasure chears the Soul , The Blessing's common , each enjoys the whole : If Bus'ness calls them to some distant Place , Swift-pinion'd Love contracts the lengthen'd Space ; Each keeps the other's Image in his Breast , As Wax preserves the Form a Seal imprest . HAIL , sacred Friendship ! by whose chearing Ray All Joys increase , without it fade away : Ev'n HYMEN's Torch , tho' burning e'er so bright , Aided by Friendship , shines with double Light . This you , O CELIA ! by Experience find , Whose nuptial Friend lives always in your Mind : No Length of Time , no Distance , ever ras'd His lov'd Idea from your tender Breast : Your friendly Flame admits of no Decays ; But glows , unclouded , with augmented Rays , And makes your bridal Lamp much brighter blaze . That faint , pale , languid Lamp , in Age , expires , Except 'tis fed with Friendship's constant Fires : These to the Winter of our Years extend ; And , when the Lover cools , they warm the Friend . When all the transient Joys of Youth are o'er , When all the Charms of Beauty charm no more ; Surviving Friendship gives us fresh Supplies Of lasting Bliss , and more substantial Joys ; Which sweeten all the Troubles Age has brought , And make the Dregs of Life a cordial Draught .