THE CUB, AT NEW-MARKET.

THE CUB , AT NEW-MARKET . POETS , for most part , have been poor ; Experience tells us ; — Proof too sure . " Ay , may be so , " Lord RICH exclaims , Who Fortune's Will incessant blames , " It may be so ; but yet , confound 'em , " They still have Jollity around 'em . " PRAY , my good Lord ! — 'tis no Offence To ask by rules of common sense , — Is not this distribution right ? — At least I view it in that light ; For 'tis but just that ev'ry Creature Should have some favour from Dame Nature . RICH shrugs his shoulders ; — " Why , perhaps , " 'Tis as you say " — then sudden slaps His fist upon his buff-clad thigh , And surly grunts , " Don't know , not I . " But come , don't you your Promise fail , " Do , give us now that same new Tale " Of Mirth ; — 'twill serve my spleen t' appease , " And set my troubled mind at ease . " I will , my Lord ! but hope you'll make Allowance for a Youngster's sake . " O never fear . " — Don't look so grim , You seem dispos'd my back to trim ; That Cudgel looks so wondrous strong , 'Twould sweep a dozen Tars along . " POH ! Poh ! this idle trifling ! nay , " Come , Sir , youdine with me to-day . " BRAVO ! my Lord ! Oh , now I'm fee'd , Wise as a Lawyer I'll proceed . LORD E*******N , who has , you know , A little dash of whim , or so ; Who thro' a thousand scenes will range To pick up any thing that's strange , By chance a curious CUB had got , On SCOTIA's Mountains newly caught ; And , after driving him about Thro' London , many a diff'rent rout , The comic Episodes of which Would tire your Lordship's Patience each ; New-market Meeting being near , He thought 'twas best to have him there ; And , that your Time I mayn't consume , View him in the New Coffee-Room ! THERE soon his noble Patron gay Flies to his sportive Friends away : While the Poor Being hums a song , Astonish'd to behold a Throng Of DUKES and LORDS ! — Bless me ! he thought ; Enchantment surely here has wrought ! SOMETIMES stock-still he stood amaz'd , And with a stupid wonder gaz'd ; Admir'd at ev'ry thing he saw , Ev'n Spurs would his attention draw ; Much more MILITIA COL'NELS GREAT ! The Bulwarks of BRITANNIA's State ! Whose strut majestic made him shrink , As on a Promontory's brink : In short , size , colour , voice , and shape , Made our Prodigious Hero gape ! Such charms in Novelty we find , Such it's effect on ev'ry mind . SOMETIMES , he , with an awkard stride , Would lift his legs , from side to side ; While Stars reflecting Phoebus' light With beamy radiance struck his sight : Then , as his visive orbs grew dim , Began to think some look'd at him ; And Bashfulness , he knew not why , Brought tears into his sheepish eye . WHAT could the luckless fellow do ? For not a single soul he knew . At last a corner pure and snug He chanc'd to spy , which made him hug Himself with joy . — There down he sat , Of Solitude fond as a Bat : And like a man at point of death , Scarcely squeez'd forth above his breath , " Here , get me Paper , Pen and Ink , " For , Waiter , I will write , I think . " AND now , my Story , pause awhile ; Till I , in Hudibrastic stile , Attempt to give you as I can , The Portraiture of this Wild Man . HE was not of the iron Race , Which sometimes CALIDONIA grace , Tho' he to Combat could advance — Plumpness shone in his Countenance ; And Belly prominent declar'd , That he for Beef and Pudding car'd . He had a large and pond'rous head , That seem'd to be compos'd of lead ; From which hung down such stiff , lank hair , As might the crows in Autumn scare . TWO hours thus studious past or more ; Afraid to venture on the floor , He rather thought on something new , Nor dreamt he any notice drew . SEDLEY , a truly worthy Knight , In whom strong sense quick parts unite , Whose humour of peculiar cast Surprizes you from first to last ; Who , tho' few really are more wise , To look a little foolish tries ; And likes Exotics to discover , As a fine Lady a new Lover ; To the consounded Put comes near , Tips him at once a friendly leer , And thus accosts him : " How now , Squire ? " Why , you've already wrote a Quire ; " Yet still continue to go on : " What ! will your labours ne'er be done ? " 'Tis said that you and EGLINTOUN " Our History are handing down : " No doubt , 'twill be a Work compleat ; " All former Authors will be beat : " Out with Proposals — for my share , " I'll instantly subscribe , I swear . " JUST in the moment as he spoke , The sprightly PEER , with switch of oak , Popt in his nose — " Faith , good enough , " Sir CHARLES my friend ! You Jockey bluff ! " We'll give you leave — no favour light — " Here to throw in a willing mite . " You , to Parnassus who resort , " And the Pierian Ladies court , " Come , touch us up a sketch in rhime , " And shew your genius — now's the time . " To the best The best Justice — Mr. P — N. JUSTICE in the Nation — " The Squire I mean — make Dedication ; " And I , who have a knack that way , " Will whistle Notes to what you say : " Nay , more , in attitude burlesque , " Will draw the The Caliban — An Appellation sometimes merrily bestowed on a very sensible worthy Member , who loves a jest himself ; and who admires the equitable Practice of Give and Take , CALIBAN grotesque ; " Who in the Frontispiece shall stand , " And , ludicrous , your mirth command . " THIS last Design was scarcely broach'd , When , lo ! the MONSTER fell approach'd ! The Justice in one arm he lugs , And the thin Spectre onward tugs . OUR CLOWN ( like country mouse of old , 'Bout which in HORACE we are told ) Quak'd timid , as , with horrid grin , He saw HIM shake his triple chin ; Th' affrighted Animal would skulk , And hide him from th' ENORMOUS BULK . YOU'll easily believe , My Lord ! That this could no small fun afford ; And set — nay call me not queer Dog — Their Gelasticity agog . AT first the circle held but few ; Till , as the loud laugh stronger grew , DUKES , LORDS , and COMMONS fondly join'd , Eager the mighty joke to find : Not one of 'em a sentence spoke , With peals of laughter like to choak ; Each as he came th' infection seiz'd , And by his friend behind was teaz'd With " What's the matter ? " — All at once , The friend behind turns equal Dunce . IN short , the Hounds , when in full cry , Ne'er struck with so much force the sky , As this blithe Chorus did assault The Coffee-Room's resounding Vault . MEANTIME , Sir CHARLES , who seem'd to pry Into the Jest , with aspect sly ; His visage veiling with a gloom , Slip'd to the middle of the room , Pull'd half a dozen by the sleeve , And whisper'd each ; " You may believe , " I'm forc'd to tell you what is true , " Why , damn it , Sir ! they laugh at You . " AND now , my Lord ! — And now , in end , To what does all this Story tend ? IF you're so good as to allow , I'd willingly the Moral show . " Ha ! ha ! my Boy ! with all my heart ; — " You're now to play a serious part . " Wisdom to learn from such as you , " Is surely something very new . " YOUR Lordship here then may observe , That Nonsense frequently will serve To set a table on a roar , And drive dull Sadness out of door . From whence , that Folly is at least Harmless , I think should be confest ; And that in life it may be well , Sometimes to hunt the Bagatelle . LIKEWISE we see that Fate ne'er fails To weigh things in impartial scales : For , tho' some People are more blest , With Understanding than the rest , She some external Oddity Bestows , which they themselves can't see , Or some particular defect , Which , while they indolent neglect , To Mortals of inferior sort , In harmless Satire serves for sport . THUS is the Ballance render'd even ; Here view the equity of Heaven . FINIS .