THE DIVERTING HISTORY OF JOHN GILPIN , SHEWING HOW HE WENT FARTHER THAN HE INTENDED AND CAME SAFE HOME AGAIN . JOHN Gilpin was a citizen Of credit and renown , A train-band Captain eke was he Of famous London town . John Gilpin's spouse said to her dear , Though wedded we have been These twice ten tedious years , yet we No holiday have seen . To-morrow is our wedding-day , And we will then repair Unto the Bell at Edmonton All in a chaise and pair . My sister and my sister's child , My self and children three Will fill the chaise , so you must ride On horse-back after we . He soon replied , I do admire Of womankind but one , And you are she , my dearest dear , Therefore it shall be done . I am a linnen-draper bold , As all the world doth know , And my good friend the Callender Will lend his horse to go . Quoth Mrs. Gilpin , that's well said ; And for that wine is dear , We will be furnish'd with our own , Which is both bright and clear . John Gilpin kiss'd his loving wife , O'erjoy'd was he to find That though on pleasure she was bent , She had a frugal mind . The morning came , the chaise was brought , But yet was not allow'd To drive up to the door , lest all Should say that she was proud . So three doors off the chaise was stay'd , Where they did all get in , Six precious souls , and all agog To dash through thick and thin . Smack went the whip , round went the wheels , Were never folk so glad , The stones did rattle underneath As if Cheapside were mad . John Gilpin at his horse's side Seized fast the flowing main , And up he got in haste to ride , But soon came down again . For saddle-tree scarce reach'd had he , His journey to begin , When turning round his head he saw Three customers come in . So down he came , for loss of time Although it grieved him sore , Yet loss of pence , full well he knew , Would trouble him much more : 'Twas long before the customers Were suited to their mind , When Betty screaming came down stairs , " The wine is left behind . " Good lack ! quoth he , yet bring it me , My leathern belt likewise In which I bear my trusty sword When I do exercise . Now Mistress Gilpin , careful soul , Had two stone bottles found , To hold the liquor that she loved , And keep it safe and sound . Each bottle had a curling ear Through which the belt he drew , And hung a bottle on each side To make his balance true . Then over all , that he might be Equipp'd from top to toe , His long red cloak well brush'd and neat He manfully did throw . Now see him mounted once again Upon his nimble steed , Full slowly pacing o'er the stones With caution and good heed . But finding soon a smoother road Beneath his well-shod feet , The snorting beast began to trot , Which gall'd him in his seat . So fair and softly , John he cried , But John he cried in vain , That trot became a gallop soon In spite of curb and rein . So stooping down , as needs he must Who cannot sit upright , He grasp'd the mane with both his hands And eke with all his might . His horse who never in that sort Had handled been before , What thing upon his back had got Did wonder more and more . Away went Gilpin neck or nought , Away went hat and wig , He little dreamt when he set out Of running such a rig . The wind did blow , the cloak did fly , Like streamer long and gay , 'Till loop and button failing both At last it flew away . Then might all people well discern The bottles he had flung , A bottle swinging at each side As hath been said or sung . The dogs did bark , the children scream'd ; Up flew the windows all , And ev'ry soul cried out , well done , As loud as he could bawl . Away went Gilpin — who but he ; His fame soon spread around — He carries weight , he rides a race , 'Tis for a thousand pound . And still as fast as he drew near , 'Twas wonderful to view How in a trice the turnpike-men Their gates wide open threw : And now as he went bowing down His reeking head full low , The bottles twain behind his back Were shatter'd at a blow . Down ran the wine into the road Most piteous to be seen , Which made his horse's flanks to smoke As they had basted been . But still he seem'd to carry weight , With leathern girdle braced , For all might see the bottle necks Still dangling at his waist . Thus all through merry Islington These gambols he did play , And till he came unto the wash Of Edmonton so gay . And there he threw the wash about On both sides of the way , Just like unto a trundling mop , Or a wild-goose at play . At Edmonton his loving wife From the balcony spied Her tender husband , wond'ring much To see how he did ride . Stop , stop John Gilpin ! — Here's the house — They all at once did cry , The dinner waits and we are tir'd , Said Gilpin — so am I . But yet his horse was not a whit Inclined to tarry there , For why ? his owner had a house Full ten miles off at Ware . So like an arrow swift he flew Shot by an archer strong , So did he fly — which brings me to The middle of my song . Away went Gilpin , out of breath , And sore against his will , Till at his friend's the Callender's His horse at last stood still . The Callender amazed to see His neighbour in such trim , Laid down his pipe , flew to the gate , And thus accosted him . What news , what news , your tidings tell , Tell me you must and shall — Say why bare headed you are come , Or why you come at all . Now Gilpin had a pleasant wit And loved a timely joke , And thus unto the Callender In merry guise he spoke . I came because your horse would come , And if I well forebode , My hat and wig will soon be here , They are upon the road . The Callender right glad to find His friend in merry pin , Return'd him not a single word , But to the house went in . Whence strait he came with hat and wig , A wig that flow'd behind , A hat not much the worse for wear , Each comely in its kind . He held them up , and in his turn Thus show'd his ready wit , My head is twice as big as yours , They therefore needs must fit . But let me scrape the dirt away That hangs upon your face , And stop and eat , for well you may Be in a hungry case . Said John , it is my wedding-day , And all the world would stare , If wife should dine at Edmonton And I should dine at Ware . So turning to his horse , he said , I am in haste to dine , 'Twas for your pleasure you came here , You shall go back for mine . Ah luckless speech , and bootless boast ! For which he paid full dear , For while he spake a braying ass Did sing most loud and clear . Whereat his horse did snort as he Had heard a lion roar , And gallop'd off with all his might As he had done before . Away went Gilpin and away Went Gilpin's hat and wig ; He lost them sooner than at first , For why ? they were too big . Now , Mistress Gilpin when she saw , Her husband posting down Into the country far away , She pull'd out half a crown . And thus unto the youth she said That drove them to the Bell , This shall be yours when you bring back My husband safe and well . The youth did ride , and soon did meet John coming back amain , Whom in a trice he tried to stop By catching at his rein . But not performing what he meant And gladly would have done , The frighted steed he frighted more , And made him faster run . Away went Gilpin , and away Went post-boy at his heels , The post-boy's horse right glad to miss The lumb'ring of the wheels . Six gentlemen upon the road Thus seeing Gilpin fly , With post-boy scamp'ring in the rear , They rais'd the hue and cry . Stop thief , stop thief — a highwayman ! Not one of them was mute , And all and each that pass'd that way Did join in the pursuit . And now the turnpike gates again Flew open in short space , The toll-men thinking as before That Gilpin rode a race . And so he did and won it too , For he got first to town , Nor stopp'd 'till where he had got up He did again get down . Now let us sing , long live the king , And Gilpin long live he , And when he next doth ride abroad , May I be there to see !